My mind is quiet, which is a new experience for me. I am used to the thoughts running through my head like a stampede of elephants fighting to climb out and be a part of my weekly blog. But for the last two weeks I feel a little like I am hearing crickets--there is noise, but I can't seem to focus anything enough to create a cohesive blog. The weird part is that I can't gauge whether this is a good thing or a bad thing. Can I not pull things together because I am at a good place and this peace causes the lack of motivation to write? Or am I exhausted from the planning of not one but two 50th birthday surprise celebrations for my husband last weekend, the end of a really busy school year, and two months of intense ultra marathon training? Could it be because in three days I will be 48 years-old putting me one step closer to being half a century old? I know this sounds odd, but I really can't pinpoint why my blog is not flowing lately so I am just going to post the odd, random thoughts that I was able to catch long enough to write about.
On Wednesday I turn the BIG 48 and despite the fact that my blog is not flowing as it usually does, I find that I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I have an amazingly supportive husband, three beautiful children, and a career that brings me rewards on a daily basis because I have the privilege of molding the lives of children each and every day. I have amazing friends that surround me with love, support, and encouragement on a regular basis. I live in a place where I can play in the hills, at the beach, or on the streets, which makes my training for this crazy 100-mile a gift rather than a chore. The best gift I have given myself over the last six years is my health, and I am never going back to the old me. Look at me--48 and completely FLABULOUS!
- When I was in high school, which seems forever ago, I used to drive my mom crazy by playing the same songs over and over again and singing the lyrics in my off-key voice at the top of my lungs. While my favorite band at the time was Oingo Boingo, I tended to choose ballads for these before-their-time karaoke sessions. My favorites included Foreigner's Juke Box Hero and Waiting for a Girl Like You and Journey's Don't Stop Belevin'. My bedroom was not attached to the house, but instead was built off the garage, so I would blast my music for the whole neighborhood to enjoy as well. At the time I was an angst-filled teenager, but truly, I have always had a deep-seeded desire that if I could magically attain one gift it would be that I would have a beautiful singing voice. Music has always soothed me at my most stressful times, so I do not know what to make of my obsession with Bruno Mars music these days. I confess that over the last month I have been playing six of Bruno's songs over and over on a loop and belting out the lyrics as loud as can be as I drive around in my car going from school to school during my work day. When I Was Your Man and The Lazy Song seem to be my particular favorites, but not sure why this is the music that is defining me right now. Random, I know, but this is what is rattling in my head these days.
- Along those same lyrical lines I am also noticing that my runs have gone particularly quiet on the music front these days. I usually cannot complete my runs without my tunes in the background. Even when I run with my buddies I tended to still keep one earbud tuned to my music at all times. It may be that on some level I am aware that for a 100-mile race my phone battery will not last long enough to sustain music throughout, but not sure why my music is no longer needed. It may be because the last race playlist I created was for Nanny Goat. Now that Nanny Goat is over, maybe I need a new playlist to motivate me. I love this website for finding good music based on the pace you are hoping to run. jog.fm
- Weight has always been an issue for me, but not so lately. My laser-focus on the scale has been a problem throughout my life, but I have noticed lately that the scale does not define me. I am heavier than I was last summer, but every time I look at myself in the mirror all I can see is how much stronger I look these days. Does this wisdom come with age? Does this insight come from focussing on what really matters--being healthy? I am not sure, but this is another thought that keeps floating through my head.
- One thing is for certain, I am looking forward to my summer break and the ability to actually get some sleep. I will admit, I am a bit sleep deprived these days, which is not good for the healing and recovery process. I have been burning the candle at both ends and in the middle as well these days, but I do what I have to do to get the necessary training in. I am up by 4 am every day, out training by 4:30am, and on my way to a full day of work by 7:30am. I am headed home by 4 or 5pm to be a mommy and a wife before heading to bed by 9pm at the latest...and then the schedule starts all over again the next day. I am hoping that during the summer I will be able to catch a few extra Zzzzzzzzs!
On Wednesday I turn the BIG 48 and despite the fact that my blog is not flowing as it usually does, I find that I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life. I have an amazingly supportive husband, three beautiful children, and a career that brings me rewards on a daily basis because I have the privilege of molding the lives of children each and every day. I have amazing friends that surround me with love, support, and encouragement on a regular basis. I live in a place where I can play in the hills, at the beach, or on the streets, which makes my training for this crazy 100-mile a gift rather than a chore. The best gift I have given myself over the last six years is my health, and I am never going back to the old me. Look at me--48 and completely FLABULOUS!
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