This week I am celebrating a number of exciting milestones. First, and most importantly, my running buddy Kay was able to join us on our early morning runs for the first time since her cancer surgery.  She was counting down the weeks, days, and even hours until she could once again get on the dark morning roads with us, and on Thursday we were all able to be together to run with her for the first time in almost two months.           
          So at 5:30 am the entire running crew (including one newer member) gathered in the drizzly morning air to do a 3-miler with our Cancer Kickin' friend Kay.  We were all bundled up in our warm winter gear, and Emily and I were even sporting our styling headlamps to the light the way.  While it was a wet one, the weather did cooperate a little by not actually pouring on us.  I  thought maybe the sky was crying light tears of joy that Kay was finally able to get out and about with us again.

          Later that night we all met together to celebrate Kay's latest triumph over the cancer beast.  We shared food, fun, and fashion as Kay taught us all how to make fashionable running headbands.  She had a little factory going on with each one of us responsible for creating a piece of the headband--that is until I was relegated to seam ripping because of a minor sewing boo-boo.  Hey if you mean cut a 19 inch strip don't tell me to cut an "extra inch." Fun was had by all and each one of us left with at least one cool, new headband.  Welcome back Kay!
          Another little reason I have to celebrate is that tomorrow I will be running my very first full marathon.  I have trained, and I am ready to go.  The weather says 50% chance of rain in Carlsbad tomorrow, but I am not going to let a little something like rain drops keep me from what I want so badly.  Each drop will just remind me of all the steps I have taken in training to get to this point.  As I shared in my last blog, I am going to have my mind step out of the way and let my body take over, because it knows what to do.  I can't wait to share all my marathon antics in next week's blog.
          Finally, and I can hardly believe it has been this long, but on January 24th two years ago I wrote my very first blog for The Flabby to Flabulous Files (FTFF).  Thirteen half-marathons, three triathlons, and numerous other races later I continue to move forward on my journey to flabulous.  There is a little less of me this days, and what is left is a little more muscular than in the past.  I would like to thank all of my family, friends, and other readers for helping me move forward on this journey.  Two years ago I started this blog to hold myself accountable and hopefully inspire even one person to change their life by taking on a healthier lifestyle.  I now have about 200 readers a week who check in to see what crazy things my running friends and I are up to.
          So here's to another year of crazy fun as we all work toward accomplishing our goals.  Continue to pray for Kay, continue to get out there and get your body moving, and continue to enjoy the benefits your healthier lifestyle provides for you.  After all, you only live once!
         

          It is amazing to me that no matter how much I train, no matter how long I call myself a runner, no matter how much I improve, I still get so worried about my performance as I head closer to race day.  I think no amount of preparation will ever push the doubts out of my mind or rid my stomach of those annoying butterflies that signal my nervousness.
          This next week is a big one for me.  I will be competing in my very first full marathon on Sunday, January 27 as I run the Carlsbad Marathon--26.2 miles of fun as I run many of my miles along the coast of the beautiful Pacific Ocean.  For the last three months, in addition to my normal weekly miles, I added long weekend runs.  I have done the work and proven to myself that I can actually run 20 miles (twice) and not collapse in exhaustion.  I was pleasantly surprised that after that many miles I was able to walk the next day without much of a limp.  In fact, the next day after my first 20-miler I was actually able to do a 32 mile bike ride.  So I was very surprised this evening when I began to once again experience those familiar feelings of doubt.  What if my small nagging aches keep me from running?  What if I really can't add the extra six miles to the twenty I have already proven I can do?  What if I don't bring the right nutrition and I hit a wall...and the list goes on and on.

          I think what has me worried this time really boils down to one bad run.  And when I say a bad run, it was not the whole run, just the last two miles.  My wonderful husband supports me in many ways, one of which is helping me find new routes to run so I don't get too bored.  For my 21 mile run, we used Google Maps to create a course that took me from one end of Murrieta to the other and into Temecula where at mile 11 I met Karrie and her neighbor Judy for the final half of my run. While I did slow down a bit on the last half, I really felt good as I approach my neighborhood and the end of my run.  The problem was, that when I entered my neighborhood, my MapMyRun program showed that I was only at 19.5 miles, 1.5 miles short of what I needed.  I attempted to run some loops around my house, but by the time I got to 20.5 miles, my thigh was cramping up, my foot hurt, and my head was telling me that I could not take one more step.  So my current pangs of doubt really boil down to that last mile of my run and the half a mile I did not complete.  Why am I so hard on myself??
          I honestly wish that sometimes I could turn my brain off, but I know that I need to learn to work through these difficult times so I can be both physically and mentally tough for my races.  I decided to do a little research today, because I am sure that some of you have had the same experience with an overactive mind.  In my search I came across an article from Runner's World that really gave me some inspiration.  Not every section of this article pertained to me, but I did find some words of wisdom to help me work through my doubt.  Overcoming Mental Blocks covers topics such as people who stress about runners that are faster than they are, those that worry about tough courses or first races, but what I found most helpful was this quote from Doug Hankes, Ph.D., a sports psychologist for the athletic department at Auburn University.  He shares, "The essence of mental training is getting your head out of the way and letting your body do what it's trained for." This just gave me that extra reminder that I have done all the work to prepare for a full marathon--I just need to let my mind concentrate on enjoying the experience and let my body take over.  It knows what to do.      

          There was one more thing that Hankes said in the article that I really want to share with you even though it does not pertain to me at this time--"No amount of confidence-building will improve your performance above what you've trained to do."  It is good to remember that, because while it is okay to miss a few scheduled trainings or have a bad run, you must put in the work needed in order to have a successful race day.  The closer you follow your training plan, the more prepared and confident you will be.
          So over the next week I will be flexing my mental muscles and making them think only positive thoughts about Sunday's race.  I planned, I trained, and I will conquer this next step on my road to becoming an Ironman.  I will repeat over and over, "Get out of my way mind, my body is ready to take over now!"

          My friend and colleague Tammy and I have often had deep philosophical conversations about many topics: ways to improve the education system, the best strategies to meet student needs in math and language arts, and we have even occasionally ventured into talking about politics.  But one of our deepest and most heated conversations were on a topic that I find the most important of all--who would make a better personal trainer, Jillian Michaels or Bob Harper?
          Well okay, maybe it isn't that important in the scheme of things, but they were heated conversation nonetheless. People who know me well are aware that I can be very sensitive, a little emotional, and that strong emotions cause me to burst out into tears (as my family can personally speak to as I burst into tears just reading a poem at my grandmother Pearl's memorial this weekend).  
          Now for those of you that do not religiously watch The Biggest Loser like I do, I will give you a brief summary of the show and talk a little about their star fitness trainers. The Biggest Loser is a show that brings people who are very heavy together with a team of personal trainers. These obese contestants compete to be the biggest loser--the one who can make it through all the weekly challenges and weigh-ins to lose the largest amount of weight.
          They have had a variety of trainers over the years, but the two most famous are Bob Harper and Jillian Michaels. Bob is an amazing trainer, and he nurtures and supports his team members with a firm but gentle approach. Jillian is the complete opposite in that she can come at you like a Mack Truck. She can get in contestants' faces, bring people to tears, but her ability to get at the root of why they are heavy in the first place makes her teams consistent winners.
          I wonder if people who know me will be surprised to know that Bob Harper just doesn't do it for me. Tammy, on the other hand, always argued that he would be the best trainer for her. Ironically, I think her current trainer is more like Jillian than she would like to admit.
          However, when I was at the beginning of my journey it was Jillian that I always took inspiration from, and at the risk of sounding completely crazy, I must share that I would actually picture her at the end of my treadmill screaming at me to "get my f*$!ing hands off the handles!" I needed the push in the right direction and no touchy feely trainer was going to work for me.
          I even subscribed to get daily inspirational emails from her website, and her books and food plan helped me lose a large amount of my weight. That is why when Jillian left The Biggest Loser I refused to watch the show anymore.  After all, who could live up to her in my eyes. That is why I am happy to announce that Jillian is back on Biggest Loser and I now know what show I will be watching as I do long training miles on my bike trainer.  Sorry Ellen--your show has been a great support, but I must be moving on. Jillian is calling!
          So for the next couple months if you are looking for me you will have to look at the gym, at work, or in front of my television with my family watching my girl Jillian whip her team members into shape. After all, no matter how flabulous I get, I will never lose that need to have my friends, family, and yes, Jillian Michaels push me in the right direction.
          Welcome back Jillian! We have missed you and are happy to have you back. I am even sure Tammy will be happy to see her back.  Now we can go back to arguing about what really matters, which trainer really is the best--Jillian!!!

Love you Grandma Pearl! You were an amazing woman and we will greatly miss you!

          Many people see the number 13 as an unlucky number, but I am seeing 2013 as the year of possibilities for me and for all of my family and friends.  After all, it can't be just a coincidence that I have finished half marathon number 13 and I have lost almost exactly 13 pounds as I head into the year 2013, right?
          I honestly have never felt better in my life and I really want for everyone to experience even a little of what it feels like to achieve goals you never thought were possible.  This morning I attempted my very first spin class and swim at the gym.  As my training partner Karrie and I were getting out of the pool two very large girls took our lane to begin their workout.  I couldn't help having such mixed feelings as I watched them.  My first feeling was one of pride--it is hard to get in a swimsuit in a public place and here they were before 7 am getting their exercise in.  I also felt a little sadness remembering how many years I had wasted being unhappy and uncomfortable in my skin.  I flashed back to that feeling of helplessness--I honestly never thought that weight would ever come off.  I thought I had too far to go to ever be successful.  I also felt compelled to share with them that it is possible...I am living proof of that.  I also felt hesitant because I wanted to share my success story to hopefully inspire them to keep up the good work.  However, I often wonder if in sharing my story am I insulting them by pointing out that they have work to do? 

          That is why I am so thankful to have this blog.  It allows me to share my story and only those people who want the inspiration need enter to read.  So I would like to share some of my successes and some resources that may help you set realistic fitness goals for the new year.  I prefer the word goal to resolution.  I feel that when most people set a new year's resolution, it is something they do once a year and by February most have already given up what they had hoped to change in their lives. 
          The first resource I would like to share is one that my Ironman training buddy Leslie posted on my Facebook page--The Secret to Making New Year's Resolutions Stick (click on title to access the full article).  What I liked about this article is that it gives many practical tips and suggestions.  It reminds you to set-up sub goals that lead toward your ultimate goal.  Trying to shoot for too much all at once can be very frustrating.  I had between 80-90 pounds to lose when I first started my journey.  I had to focus on five pounds at a time at first because my ultimate weight loss goal seemed so out of reach in the beginning.  The other tip I love is a reminder that you will fail--we all do at one time or another when we are trying to make changes.  The secret is to realize that these set backs are a normal part of the journey.  Do not beat yourself up if you have a bad eating day or skip a workout.  Treat each day as a new opportunity to move in the right direction.
          The number one reason I have been successful is that I am very committed to working out.  I have a very low metabolism, and the simple truth is that losing weight pretty much boils down to calories in and calories out.  I love to eat, so I must put in a few more miles on the road, on my bike, or in the pool to be able to eat anything other than fruits, veggies, and chicken breast.  Recently my buddy Kay shared a resource that focuses on sticking to a running goal, but most of the tips can be helpful no matter what your exercise of choice is--10 Tips on How To Stick To a New Year’s Running Resolution.  Like the article suggests I make sure to plan races that I know I have to train for, and that keeps me motivated to get up at god awful hours to get my workout in before work.  If you don't like running, how about scheduling a walk, bike, or swim race?  If you have something in the books you are less likely to skimp on your exercise.  This article also points out how important accountability is.  I use the MapMyRide app on my iPhone to track my exercise and progress.  This tool enabled me to put together the table below that shows my exercise totals for the year.  It is very motivating for me to look back and see all I have achieved over the year.  MapMyRide also has a nutrition resource where you can enter food you eat into a journal, and it automatically subtracts the calories from your daily allowance that include base calories and ones you earned from exercise.  Another way to keep yourself accountable is by surrounding yourself with training buddies.  This morning I had to wake up at 4 am so I could meet Karrie at the gym for a 5:30 spin class followed by an hour of swimming.  When I woke up I was so cozy in my bed that I might have rolled over and skipped my workout if I didn't know Karrie would be waiting at the gym for me.  I cannot stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with supportive, dedicated people.  It is honestly one of the main reasons I have been able to continue moving in a positive direction.
          Another helpful article came from an unlikely source.  I subscribe to many resources and I have recently been getting emails about "triathloning" as I move into my triathlon training mode.  Yesterday I received an article with a misleading title--5 Triathlon Tips (and Tricks) to Make 2013 Your Best. This article is more about how to set a reasonable goal and stick to it than specifically how to improve your triathlons.  The advice here can be applied to any goal you set whether that goal be improving you swim/bike/run times or losing a few extra pounds.  It is worth the time to read it. Here is a quote to motivate you to check it out, "Remember, that there are 365 days in 2013 so if you mess up on the first day you still have 364 days left to get it right."  Great advice, right?

          And for those of you that have not yet set your goals for 2013, it is not too late.  What is it that you want to accomplish this year?  Maybe you already have a handle on your workouts but need to improve your eating habits.  One good resource I receive several times a week is newsletters from the Hungry Girl Lisa Lillian.  You can subscribe to get her regular emails, which are very helpful.  A couple days ago I got an email entitled Undoing Holiday Damage that gives some helpful tips for how to get back on the right track after indulging during the holiday season.  Her latest newsletter, New Year, New You! (Tips and Tricks for 2013), includes weight loss resources, healthy food choices you can get at the supermarket, and some more ideas on how to set some smart exercise habits.  I highly suggest you sign up for her emails, because there have been plenty of times that I needed inspiration or new ideas and I found the help I needed in her regular newsletters.
          So let's make 2013 the year that we all do something we didn't think we were capable of doing.  Put in the time to set your long term and short term goals, find resources that move you in the right direction, and surround yourself with people who will be a positive influence on and support you in your journey.  No matter how far you have to go, I know you can do. It is possible, and I am living proof that if you set your mind on something, you, too, can make 2013 the year of possibilities.

“Never say that you can't do something, or that something seems impossible, or that something can't be done, no matter how discouraging or harrowing it may be; human beings are limited only by what we allow ourselves to be limited by: our own minds. We are each the masters of our own reality; when we become self-aware to this: absolutely anything in the world is possible."
                                                        Mike Norton