Please excuse any spelling or grammar errors.  I am completing this blog in the dark in a tent in the middle of the redwoods of Crescent City. I love camping, but it is not the best place to work on my blog.         

          Less than forty-eight hours after I crossed the finish line at Vineman, and I can hardly believe that my long, hard fought journey has been completed.  It all feels so surreal, that I expect to wake up and realize that it was just a dream.  All the hours of training, all the days of sleep deprivation, and all the emotional ups and downs have been worth it, because I can now call myself an Ironman.  So many of you followed me all day, and I want you to know that I felt your energy with me throughout each leg of the race.  I also had your words of encouragement running through my head when I hit rough spots in the day where I thought I might not be able to go on.  I told you from the beginning that this was going to be as much an emotional race for me as it was a physical one, and it was.   I don’t think I can fully convey exactly what it was like to swim, bike, and run for almost fifteen and a half hours, but I hope that I can give you a little glimpse into what it is like to take part in an Ironman competition:
3 am on Saturday, July 27--The alarm goes off for Emily and I to get up to eat our breakfast and make sure we have everything we need packed into the car before we head off to the swim portion of the race. We only had to bring our bikes down to the car.  The night before we had carefully packed all the essentials we would need for each leg of the race.  This race was a little different than many triathlons in that the place where we did our swim was about 17 miles from where we would start our run.  The challenge was that we had to double pack things like sunscreen, skin lubricant to ease chaffing, and nutritional supplies, so we would have what we needed in both spots.
          We arrived at Johnson’s Beach in Guerneville where we needed to set our swim to bike transition, put on our wetsuits, and mentally prepare for the fact that we would be on the course for 15-16 hours.  Emily and Leslie were in a different swim start wave than Karrie and I, so we were able to cheer them on before entering the water for our wave.  Despite all my previous fears about the open water swim, I was calm and ready to take on what I perceived as my biggest challenge of the day.
Phase 1: The Swim--
          When the siren went off, I took a deep breath, put my face in the water, and tried to get in a zone where I didn’t worry about everything around me.  I concentrated on counting my strokes, breathing in and out consistently, and made sure that no matter what I was not going to let my surroundings panic me.  Before I knew it I had completed a quarter of the swim and had to stand up and walk around the shallow turnaround point.  As I looked behind me I noticed I had actually passed people—I was not the slowest swimmer out there! 
          As soon as the water got a little deeper, I put my head back down and concentrated on making it to the next turnaround point.  The problem was that I was concentrating so hard that I swam too far to the right and ended up in the weeds on the bank.  I didn’t panic and just headed more to the left of the course, only this time I headed too far to the left of the buoy.  Luckily, on my second trip up and back I realized I needed to look up every once in a while to make sure I was swimming straighter.  I think at the end of the swim I had done well over 2.4 miles, but I was so happy not to be the last one out of the water that I didn't mind the extra yardage.  My goal was to be under two hours on the swim and I came in at 1:31:54, well under my estimate--just 138.1 miles until Ironman glory!
Phase 2: The Bike--
          The next challenge was to transition from my swim to my bike, and because the next transition was 17 miles away, I had to take the time to pack and seal all my swim equipment into a plastic bag so the crews could transport these items over to the finish area. Once I was packed and dressed in my cycling gear, I ran up to the spot where I could jump on my bike and begin my 112-mile bike journey.
          While this route was super hilly with poor road conditions (lots of potholes, bumps, and shady areas), it was also some of the most beautiful landscape I have encountered on any of my rides.  This made the trip a little easier on a day where I just wasn’t feeling it.  Usually the bike portion is my strength, but once I got out of the water, I pretty much felt a hint of nausea for the rest of race—not enough to stop me, but enough to make it tough to stay on the pace I had planned to do.  On my training rides I had been able to consistently keep up a 15-16 mph pace on the flats, but on race day I was lucky to keep up a 13-14 mph pace.  It took me over 60 miles to catch up to one of my Ironman teammates, Karrie, but that was just the boost I needed to continue on.
          Karrie and I like to talk, so the next 30 miles passed pretty quickly as we took turns telling stories to pass the time away.  Karrie also made sure I ate by sharing her snacks with me.  At one point she pulled out a Ziplock bag of potato chips, which would provide us both calories and much needed salt.  She opened the bag and held it out between our bikes so I could grab a handful.  Once I had some in my hands, she asked if I had it, to which I replied that I did.  The problem was that I thought she was asking if I had my handful of chips, but she was really asking if I had the entire bag.  Our delicious treat dropped on the ground, and within seconds was too far behind us to go back and get them.  We had not trained to share food, but we learned very quickly to be clear about whether we were sharing a bite or the whole thing.
          Unfortunately, I lost track of Karrie at around mile 90 and I had to do the final 22 miles on my own.  I was tired, my back and shoulders were killing me, but I was shooting to be back at the next transition by 4:00 pm, so I knew I had to keep going.  It is amazing how after going 100 miles, the last 12 seems like such a long distance.  I thought I was never going to arrive at Windsor High School, and then I saw my friend Kay who had flown up from Murrieta for the day just to support us.  I don’t think I have ever been so happy to see her smiling face. 
          I jumped off my bike and ran over to the spot with my running gear.  My transition time was horrible (16:20), because I stopped to hug and kiss my family and friends who had waited over nine hours to see me, and I also had to stretch out my sore back and neck before heading out for the marathon.  My goal for the bike leg was to finish in seven to eight hours, and at 7:31:38, I had once again met my goal!
Phase 3: The Run--
          Right from the beginning, the run was a tough one.  We had to go out and back three times on another hilly course with lots of uneven pavement.  My biggest concern for the run was my knee.  For the last three weeks I had suffered from some IT band issues, and despite resting for several days before the race, at mile three I could already feel pain in my knee, and I still had over 23 miles left to go.  At this point of the race I was starting to get delusional and was beginning to lose my confidence.  I started to wonder if I was going to make it to the end, and I was getting a little sad thinking that I was going to let everyone down.  I had so many people supporting me both online and in person, how could I not finish after almost ten hours on the course?  That’s when I reminded myself that I had almost seven hours left to finish, and I just needed to take it one lap at a time. 
          The nice thing about the out and back is that I was finally able to run into both Leslie and Emily as they passed me headed back for their second loop.  I could see they were about thirty minutes ahead of me, so I made it my mission to try to catch up with them.  I ran up the hills and on the flats since that seemed to bother my knees the least, and then I walked down many of the downhill stretches.  I also walked through most aide stations for Gatorade, water, and my new favorite race snack, peaches.  Before I knew it, I ran into Kay and my family as I headed in to grab my first purple bracelet that would signify that I had completed a third of the marathon…one down, two more to go.
          For some reason, the second lap was the easiest to complete.  I knew what I was in for on the run, I had more energy than I had at the beginning of the marathon, and I was trying to catch my friends ahead of me. My knee was still bothering me, but I just ran when I could, and I walked when it started to bother me again. The support along the route was amazing.  There was a water station at every mile filled with the most amazing, helpful volunteers.  In addition, Team in Training was out there supporting their IronTeam, and they were cheering almost as loudly for the non-Team runners as they were for their own members.  There were spectators along much of the route, and it was easy to stay motivated along this second lap.
          Once I was headed in for my second purple bracelet, I knew I could finish this race, I just had to stay tough for the final 8+ miles.  The only problem was that as I headed in and out I could not find Kay or my family.  I think they didn't expect me to come in so soon, and they were not there to hand me my long sleeve shirt or my head lamp.  I was a little concerned about getting cold and running in the dark, but I was more concerned if I looked around for them I might not finish in time, so I headed out.
          I was still trying to catch Emily and Leslie, but my knee was starting to really act up, so I began the final loop by walking.  It was then that I met Rafi. He was walking quickly, but looking a little dejected. He shared with me that this was his first Ironman as well.  He had completed the swim in 1:23:11, and his bike time was 7:06:54.  He knew that he was going to have a good finish, because running was his strength--his half-marathon times were under 1:30.  Unfortunately at mile three he felt his IT band rip, and he couldn't run without great pain.  He had made it to the final loop, but he was thinking about quitting. I reminded him that he had three hour to complete 8 miles, and that if he just kept up the quick walking pace he was doing, he was certain to be an Ironman. When I felt like I had him convinced not to quit, I ran on to try to catch up with Emily (and he did finish in 16:10:34).
          I am not going to lie...the last 4-5 miles were some of the most difficult miles I have ever endured.  I was freezing, because I still only had my t-shirt on, and without a headlamp, I couldn't see anything.  They had given me a glow necklace, but it was only good for distinguishing you as a runner, but not for any actual light source.  It was pitch black, and I could only run when a car came the other way, or when a smart person with a headlamp passed by me.  The ground was too uneven to run in the dark, and I was afraid if I fell down, someone might not find me. It was tough, but when I saw Kay waiting for me in that last half mile, I knew my journey was coming to an end.  She ran me to the end of the chute, and then went back to wait to run Karrie in as well.  It is a surreal feeling to finally cross that finish line after 15:20:29 out on the course, but with my 5:51:33 marathon time, I had not only finished my run under my 6 hour goal, but I had also become an Ironman in well under 16 hours.
          I was cold, and actually got a little sick at the end, but I did it.  All four of us finished in under 16 hours (and Leslie finished in under 15 at 14:59:58), and we all ended sore but in one piece.  It was amazing to finish with my husband, son, and friends around me, and knowing all of you were following me every step of the way.  It was also special having Kay and her husband there to support us, so that Kay and I could finish our difficult journeys together.  Kay has beaten cancer, and I conquered a little thing called Ironman! This story could not have ended any better!

          For this week's blog, I have decided to present it as a two-parter--before the race and after the race. 

Thursday, July 25: I am interested to see how I feel after the race, because at this point I wonder if the preparation to get to this point is almost more difficult than the race itself.  What I mean is that I have been training for over a year.  In that time I have been exercising six days a week and often completing between 2 and 8 hours training each day.  This has meant that any of my friends that don't train with me have not seen me in more than 12 months.  In addition, I have rarely had more than 7 hours of sleep each night, and on most days I am up before 5am to hit the gym.  Even packing for this Ironman trip has been a huge chore.  You would not believe the number of essential items I had to remember to bring with me.  While it will be a long day for me on Saturday, I almost think of Ironman event itself like the process of quickly pulling off a band aid as compared to the road I have taken to get to this point.
          I am trying to be at peace with whatever happens on Saturday.  I feel that the calmer I am, the more that I trust my training, the better my race day experience will be.  Things are falling into place.  We are just now puling into the town of Windsor where we will be staying for the next two days.  I have given myself enough time to actually get a full night's sleep, get to the Expo in a relaxed manner, and I also have all day tomorrow to look over the race course and actually get in a swim in the Russian River.  The high on Saturday will be 80, which is perfect racing weather, especially considering it was 105 here just 4 weeks ago.  All these things will help me be better prepared for the big day.
          Friday, July 26: I had a decent night's sleep, and I actually feel more serene than I have felt in the last year. I won't let the fact that the competitors staying at my hotel all look more fit than I do bother me.  I can only compare myself to who I was when I started this training.
          Swim:  Tomorrow I will be completing a 2.4 mile swim in the Russian River.  At this time last year I could hardly go from one end of the pool to the other without gasping for breath.  This is the area where I have grown the most this year. I know when I first decided to do Vineman, this part is what I was pretty sure might keep me from completing this race.  In an Ironman, there is a time limit for each leg.  That means it is possible for a person to get pulled from the race if they don't complete the swim or bike by a certain time.  That was my biggest fear, but after a year of swim training I know I can complete this leg in under two hours.
          This evening, Karrie, Emily, Leslie, and I went out to the Russian River start line and practiced some open water swimming with our wetsuits.  I am so glad I took the time to do this.  Swimming in open water is so very different from pool swimming.  Not only is the water deeper, but you cannot see a thing to the right, left or below.  I felt as if I was swimming with a green curtain completely around me.  After a few minutes of practice I got used to the lack of visibility, and I was able to swim to one of the bridges and back.  I am hoping that I can complete the swim leg of the race in under two hours.
          Bike:  Through the process of training for Ironman, I have realized that biking is actually my strength in triathlons.  I love climbing up hills, and I spend less time squeezing my brakes on the downhills than I did in the beginning.  I actually pushed my bike to almost 40 mph last weekend, and I had complete control of the bike and was not as scared as I have been in the past.  The most difficult hill is called Chalk Hill, and we will encounter this challenge at both miles 50 and 100.  Karrie and Leslie tell me it is the same difficulty as the road up to the Santa Rosa Plateau, so I am not too concerned.  Last weekend I found this hill so much easier than in the past, and that is giving me confidence to tackle the hills in Vineman.  I am thinking that I can finish the bike leg in 7-8 hours.
          Run: I started out as a runner, so this was the part of the race I was least concerned about.  However, for the last few weeks I have been have issues with my left IT Band (knee).  It has not been terrible, but even in short miles my knee has been aching a little on the downhills.  I did my training marathon in 4:51, but my best guess is that I can finish the run in less than 6 hours.
          If you add all the times together, my over estimation is that I can finish it in under 16 hours.  And I better reach this goal, because with my late swim time (6:45am) I really only have 16 hours and 15 minutes to complete the race or I will get a DNF (did not finish).  I want to thank everyone for supporting me over the last year.  If you want to follow me or my Ironman buddies, you can go to either of the links below (Karrie 673, Leslie 341, Emily 308, and Michelle 662):

Race Results 360

Results on the Vineman Website
         

          Have you ever felt so happy, so excited that you could almost feel your heart jumping out of your chest? Have you ever felt so proud of an accomplishment that you had trouble keeping your heads out of the clouds?  If you have ever felt any of these emotions then you know exactly how I am feeling right at this moment.  If you had asked me even two years ago if I thought I could have trained and prepared myself to compete in an Ironman, I would have told you that there was no way I was capable of such a thing.  I am lucky that my friends and family have more confidence in me than I do, because here I am 6 days away from my first Ironman.  I survived the grueling training, and I now have little doubt that I can finish this race.
          I hope that does not sound too cocky of me.  All I mean to share is that it is now time for me to trust in the training.  I have proved to myself physically that I am capable of swimming 2.4 miles, biking more than a century, and running a full marathon.  Now I need to let my head, my emotions step aside and let my well-trained body take over.  I have to do this, because I need to be physically tough, but more importantly I need to be mentally tough.  When I was at the chiropractor yesterday, I was sharing with him how nervous I was.  His response was basically, "Knock it off!  Don't even go there!"  He reminded me of all the time and effort I had put into my preparation over the last year, and told me not to let my mind get in the way.  He told me I was ready, and I know my friends and family feel the same...who am I to argue with people that are way smarter than I am?
          This must be the week of songs popping into my head to inspire me, because I found another set of lyrics rolling around in my head today. I need to sing these words over and over next Saturday to keep me going when the road gets lonely, when the hours get long, and when I am still running when the sun has gone down for the night.  Thank you R Kelley:

I Believe We Can Fly!

If we can see it, then we can do it
If we just believe it, there's nothing to it

[Chorus:]
I believe we can fly
I believe we can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
We'll spread our wings and fly away
I believe we can soar
I see us running through that open door
I believe we can fly

There are miracles in life we must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh

If we can see it, then we can be it
If we just believe it, there's nothing to it!

          So this is for you Emily, Karrie, and Leslie.  We have this.  It is time for us to spread our wings and go for it.  And as my wise friend Joe shared with me yesterday, "If you believe in yourself and you believe in what you are doing, you are twice as strong as if you don't." 

          I honestly thought this day would never come.  I can breathe a sigh of relief, because despite all of my doubt, despite feeling like I couldn't do even one more crazy swim, run, or bike ride, all the pieces seem to be falling into place.  On Friday I tried my wetsuit on at the beach only to discover that it fit just right, except for the neck which seemed bent on choking all my breath out of me.  After hours researching on the internet, I decided to try one more time to make my wetsuit work.  I read that sometimes the solution is as simple as pulling the wetsuit up in the crotch, which then pulls the neckline up higher.  So I had Karrie help me give myself a super wedgie and it fits.  Not only does it fit, but I was able to swim 4,700 yards in my new, perfectly fitting wetsuit.  I was also able to do the entire swim in under 1:50, which means I will be well under the 2:20 time limit!
          I am not sure why, but as I was completing this very last long training before my two weeks of taper (shorter training days to help my body recover before race day), I had a song that kept running through my head--"I Did it My Way".  Now I am a child of the 80's, so it was not the Frank Sinatra version but the Sex Pistols' version that helped pass the 4,700 yards of pool time.  I know this song is technically about death, but I have my own twist to this classic song:

I Trained it My Way!

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final challenge
My friend, I'll say it clear
I'll state my case, of which I'll manage

I've trained an Ironman full
I ran and biked every highway
And more, much more than this
I trained it my way

Rest days, I've had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exception

I planned each biking course
Each running step along the highway
And more, much more than this
I trained it my way

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out

I faced it all and I stood tall
And trained it my way!   

          I can hardly believe that in less than two weeks I will be tackling the most difficult challenge of my life, but I know in my heart that I could not have done more to prepare myself for this day.  I rarely missed a workout, and I gave it my all during every training session and that is all I can ask of myself.  On race day I can be at peace knowing that I did all the prep work to conquer each leg of this race, and I will have my friends and family by my side (both physically and virtually) to encourage me from start to finish.  I am ready for this to be over, but on race day I will enjoy every swim yard, every bike mile, and every running step until I cross that finish line and can call myself an Ironman finisher.  I trained it my way, and I can be at peace knowing that I am ready!

          More than a year ago, I was on a run that would change the course of my life over the last twelve months.  My friend Karrie caught me in a moment of weakness, and I agreed to start training for an Ironman.  Now mind you, I could hardly swim, and beyond a few trips on my mountain bike with my husband I had very little bike training in my background.  So here I was a runner (and not a very fast one at that) attempting a race that few would even consider doing at all, and I really only knew anything about one leg of that race.
          When I first mentioned to people that I would be doing this race, many people gave me the look, “Really?  You think you can do this?”  And to be fair to those people, I was thinking the same thing in my head.  There was also that fact that I was not nearly as healthy looking as I am today.  I was so afraid of not being ready that I actually started training for my full Ironman in October by doing a half Ironman training plan.  Once I completed that plan, I was then ready to even attempt to start the full Ironman training.           
          I remember my first look at what was ahead of me in my full Ironman training calendar.  I instantly zoomed in on week 21—how was I ever going to be able to do a 6 hour bike ride followed by a 45 minute run, and then get up the very next day and swim 4,300 yards and wrap all that up with a 3 hour run?  It all seemed so impossible to me at that time.  What a difference a year makes!

         This past weekend was the dreaded week 21.  On Saturday I was on my bike trainer by 5am, so I could get in two hours of riding before my husband and I left to complete an additional four hour ride from Fallbrook to Solana Beach and back.  He had calculated that the route would take us approximately two hours out, only when we arrived at the halfway point, I had only clocked about 1 ½ hours, which was not nearly enough.  I had to go another fifteen minutes down the coast if I hoped to get all my biking in.  While that doesn’t sound like much, it is always difficult, mentally, to add on more to what is already such a challenge.  In addition, I was trying this extra by myself and without music.  I was getting a little worried about completing it all--and that is when Yoda spoke to me. 
          Yoda reminded me, “ Do or do not…there is no try!”  Well okay, he didn’t actually speak to me, but when I saw it on a bumper sticker on the back of a truck parked along the coast, I knew it was just the inspiration I needed to stop complaining and just do it.  Because while this sounds harsh, it is a truth I need to face.  I either complete Ironman, or I don’t.  Sure I can try, but in the end either I cross that finish line in time, or I do not.  Luckily, that is just how I have approached my training as well.  No matter how hard it has been to get up before the sun to train, and no matter how much I dread spending most of my weekend days training long hours, I just did it.  And it is this digging deep that I am hoping will drive me across the finish line so that I can add my name to the list of people that took on this challenge and succeeded.  I planned, I trained, and I will conquer!