I am going to share something with you, but you can't breathe a word of it to anyone else...there are times that I am NOT all that ladylike. The "delicate flower" description is my way of pretending that I don't know that this unladylike side of me exists.  There are times I burp like a sailor, pass gas like a teenage boy who has eaten too many bean burritos, and when I come back from a run I must admit that I smell like an entire locker room of boys after football practice.  When Eoin calls me on one of these unladylike qualities, I will often respond back, "Who me? It couldn't be me because I am a "delicate flower."  His response to that is always, "A delicate flower that attracts flies!"  Okay, so there is a lot of truth to his comeback--I guess I am not as delicate as I profess to be.

I also profess to being a bit delicate with the various running conditions I face.  I love running in the rain, but anytime the heat gets above 75, I am ready to pass out from heat exhaustion.  I know people think I am crazy to run so early in the morning, but I would honestly rather hit the streets at 3 am rather than run in the heat.

I am also a complete wimp when it comes to my sleep.  Because I get up so early to run in the morning, my eyes are literally at half-mast by 8 pm, so running at night ranks right up there with running in the heat in my book. I would rather get all my miles in early than have to do a later afternoon or evening run. 

The amazing thing about Coach Ed (my ultra marathon coach) is that he rarely lets his preferences determine when, where, or how he trains or races.  Elevation is not his favorite condition, and yet he chooses races and training sessions, like climbing Mount Whitney twice in one week, to improve his ability to compete in those conditions.  He has shared with me on numerous occasions that if there is a condition I dislike, I need to train even more for those conditions.  So last week I decided that it was time for this "delicate flower" to push her limits--it was time to Suck it Up Buttercup!

So last Friday, knowing that we had to leave early Saturday morning for a trip to Arizona and I would have difficulty getting my long miles in, I put my night training to the test.  I took a little nap late Friday night, and then got out on the road by midnight to get my eighteen miles in.  I was lucky to have Gabby, Mark, Karrie, and her dog Lilly along as company and protection.  There were lots of drunks, more traffic than I had anticipated, but overall it was not nearly as difficult as I had anticipated. I won't lie, the last two miles were torture, but it wasn't because it was nighttime, it was because my body was fatigued from my high mileage during the week. I was actually very proud of myself, and I now know that the late hour will not be an issue for me at my 100-mile race.

Once in Arizona I was able to practice in the other condition that I usually avoid.  One morning I ran in 80 degree weather and 60% humidity.  It was very uncomfortable, but I survived.  On my last night in Arizona, Sean found a beautiful park with a lighted path for me to play on.  The temperatures were near 100 degrees and it was also another night run.  I could have run for hours if my family hadn't needed to go back to the hotel and sleep.  The next morning I took another little run in the heat just to prove to myself that this delicate flower has stepped out of her comfort zone and is ready to tackle whatever comes at her on her 100-mile journey.

I am so proud of myself this week.  I have pushed myself to the limits mentally and physically.  I am tired--my legs are tired, my feet are tired, heck, even my mind is a little tired.  But I knew there would be sacrifices I would have to make as I took on this 200 day journey to be a 100-Mile Champion.  I have less than 100 days left to train for my big race, and I know that I will be ready.  This "delicate flower" is running in heat, staying up and training at odd hours of the night, and I am not wilting.  I have grown so much through this process and am so thankful for everyone that has supported me along the way!

The training for my 100-mile race at the EC 100 is ramping up. We have passed the halfway point of the 200-day challenge and we are needing to put in about 50-60 miles a week at this point to prepare our bodies for the "fun" at the October ultra marathon. This week I put in about ten miles a day, about five miles running and five miles speed walking at each daily session. Today is Saturday and even if I take a rest day tomorrow, I will have 73.5 miles for the week--my greatest number of miles running ever!  It has been challenging, but having the EC100 event as the goal to train for has made every mile put in worth it...and then yesterday happened.

I have heard stories about such things, but I never imagined it would happen to me and my 0 to 100-mile hero teammates. After 102 days behind us and 98 days left to train, we received an email from the EC100 Race Director  (RD) letting us know that he was canceling the race that we have all been training so hard for. I am still in a little bit of shock and I honestly don't know how I feel at this point.

I must confess that a TINY little piece of me felt relieved. Maybe I can sleep in a couple days a week. Maybe I can go back to a normal number of miles per week. Maybe I can add some biking and swimming miles again. Maybe I can spend some extra time with my family and friends again...but that only flitted through my mind for a second before my next emotion flew into my mind.

I was pissed! If there was some natural disaster like a hurricane, tornado, or earthquake, that would suck, but something like that would be unavoidable. If there were wildfires that made the air unhealthy, that would be the safe thing to do. Hell, if the guy had had some health issue that prevented him from continuing on, we would all understand. The thing that made me angry was that it basically can all be summed up in one sentence. He overextended himself and was canceling because he couldn't put the time into getting everything ready. Really? When did people stop taking responsibility for promising to do something and getting it done anyway. Suck it up buttercup! There were people counting on you!

My next emotions were sad for the loss of the opportunity to complete the race we had all been training so hard for and looking forward to.  I also felt frustrated that someone could just pull the rug out from under us, and we really had no control over the situation. I felt anxious wondering how I was ever going to meet this goal of completing a 100- mile race-- first the knee injury and now a cancelled race.  Can you see why I am feeling such mixed emotions about this?

In the end, I am choosing not to give in to any of those emotions that won't change the situation anyway. I know that for some people they had flights planned, hotels booked, crews and pacers that now need to be canceled--I do not have these issues to complicate the process, so I am choosing to see this as just another opportunity to show how strong my will is to overcome the obstacles the seem to continue to pop up. I am choosing to believe that in life things happen for a reason. I don't always know what those reasons are, but I do know that eventually I usually see that something even greater comes my way.  Yes, the old when a door closes another door or window usually opens up viewpoint. I know this makes me seem idealistic, but I refuse to waste my energy worrying about something I can't control. If I am meant to complete this hundred-mile race, then I know the coaches will figure something out for us. Until then, I will continue to complete the miles in preparation for my ultra marathon finish. I am a 100-mile champion, and I won't let anyone take that away from me! 

Maybe the bigger lesson I should be learning from these challenges I have been facing since I started running is that life is always going to throw curve balls at us, but we can survive these challenges if we fight hard and don't give up on ourselves and our dreams. If I can run over 70 miles in one week. If I can survive finishing a full marathon. If I can cross the finish line at a 140.6 mile Ironman. If I can do all this, then I know that I can overcome a huge disappointment at the hands of one irresponsible Race Director! 

As I train for my 100-mile race, there are so many factors I need to take into account, so many important elements I need to plan for, and so many environmental conditions I need to train for to have a successful race. One of the most consistent questions I get when someone hears I am running 100 miles is, "Are you doing that all in one day?" And yes, this is done in one fell swoop--hopefully in less than the 30-hour cut-off. But anyone who happens to know me personally might also be wondering how I will possibly be able to stay up past eight o'clock at night since my eyes are usually fluttering closed and I am yawning non-stop once I hit that 8pm mark.  My answer to this is that it is just one more condition I need to train for.

This week Gabby suggested that we begin our weekly long run at 3am instead of our usual 5am.  What's another two hours of sleep anyway? The funny thing is that when she made this request I didn't once even question the early start time, and even funnier is that when I told my family I would be starting even earlier than usual, no one even batted an eye.  

So early Saturday morning, or late Friday evening depending on your perspective, I was headed out the door for my run just as my oldest son was headed to bed for the night. I was surprisingly awake and ready for my 17-mile jaunt to our local ecological reserve and back. We could not have picked a more beautiful night to practice running at this time of day.  The sky was as blue as an indigo crayon, completely devoid of any cloud cover, and the bright, full moon was high in the sky.  The moon provided so much illumination that there was no need for us to even carry any light source. This was also the one time of day that during a run not one car passed us by. The night was silent except for the pounding of our feet against the moonlit asphalt. 

I have done a lot of running in the last six years, and this was by far one of my favorite runs ever.  I don't know why some runs seem so effortless while other seem to require more energy than I can possibly muster. I  should have been pretty tired with the lack of sleep I had experienced over the last few days, my Achilles was aching a bit before the start of this run, and yet even running up the steep hills on the way to the turnaround point seemed effortless. My heart rate was behaving, my legs felt powerful, and my breathing was steady and unforced.  It was good to feel this way with such long miles and at such a ridiculous hour of the day.

Ultra runners have shared with me that at this time of night people often have hallucinations.  As Gabby and I ran up the road toward one of the parking lots at the Santa Rosa Plateau, I saw a heart-shaped mylar balloon floating about 15 feet off the ground. The moon shone behind it and made the floating object look a bit like a spirit hovering and moving in a slightly circular pattern in the illuminated night sky.  I had to ask Gabby if she saw it as well to ensure I wasn't imagining things.  Luckily, it was a vision that she saw too.  I vowed to take a picture on the way back to document that the two of us were not having crazy visions because of our sleep-deprived minds.

Before I knew it we had reached the half-way point in our run and we were flanked by a large grassy meadow with the sun beginning to rise on one side and the full-moon topped hills on the the other.  As we looked closer we saw a single deer standing completely still in the middle of the meadow hoping we hadn't spotted her. A little farther on we saw not one but two coyotes running through the amber-colored fields. These are all things we most likely would not have seen had we not decided to run by the light of the moon.

On the way back down the hill, I got that feeling of content that creeps up on ultra runners after making it through the dark of the night.  It is a feeling of happiness that comes on so suddenly, you almost can't pinpoint why you are suddenly feeling lighter once again.  Coach Ed's wife Martha pointed this phenomenon out to me as she walked my last miles with me at the Nanny Goat Ultra I did in May. Those last miles down from the Santa Rosa Plateau were suddenly easier with the sun finally shining down on us after the dark of the night, that and the downhill course for the last half of the run made things so much easier despite the long miles on tired legs and even more tired mind.

As we ran those final miles back home from the Santa Rosa Plateau, we looked up to the left where the moon still shone brightly in the morning sky and saw the tiny shadow of what appeared to be our mylar ballon floating high in the sky.  The sun-warmed air had heated the helium in the ballon just enough to carry it higher into the sky where it was going on another journey just far enough away for us to not be sure that the spot in the sky was our balloon. It was also far enough away for Gabby and I still to be unsure as to whether we really had seen that ballon in the night sky above the dirt and rock packed reserve parking lot at all.

I know that some of my training seems a little crazy, but I would not trade these experiences for anything. I am growing as a runner and I am having amazing experiences along the way. Next up--Gabby and I are planning to start one of our next long runs at midnight.  We are both extreme morning people and it will be interesting to see how this time of night affects us both mentally and physically.  I can't wait to see what this run has in store for us!