On my journey to fitness I have made many changes in my lifestyle to improve my health.  I went from sitting on the couch watching activity on television to running half-marathons on a regular basis.  I gave up drinking any kind of soda, even diet, I no longer use artificial sweetener, and my diet consists mostly of healthy food choices, although I do indulge, occasionally, in my favorite treat, Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  I have started taking supplements (two weeks and counting), and I have also added swimming and biking to my exercise routine as I train for the Vineman triathlon.  One thing that I have failed to focus on, and in over 2-1/2 years of blogs has never been a topic of discussion, is the importance of sleep.
          Now, maybe I have avoided this subject because this is such a huge area of growth for me, or maybe I am just coming to the realization of how truly important sleep is to making my body a healthy machine.  Whatever the reason, I am realizing that the more I train, the more I need to work on getting an adequate amount of sleep each night.  It might be my imagination, but lately every time I open a magazine, read a blog, or watch the Today Show it seems like they are talking about the exact topic that I am choosing to write about this week.  It could be that I am just more aware of the subject, or maybe someone is trying to tell me something--I need to get more sleep!
          I would like to share the best resources that I have come across on the subject of why we all need to be thinking more about the amount of sleep we get each night.  I think the easiest one to understand is the resource I found on the Crossfit Inland Valley website.  If you click on this link, Sleep Deprivation: The Cousin of Death, and then click on the graphic to the right (I clicked on it a second time to make it larger for my old eyes) you will see a concise representation of why sleep is important, the specific effects it has on our health, and even some tips for how to fall asleep at night.  For those of you that only read my blog to make me happy and don't want to have to read anything else, I will discuss the important points below:
          While the average American only gets 5-7 hours sleep each night, our bodies need 7-9 hours (I assume the overlap is for people like me who really need 8 hours to feel fully rested).  The danger zone is when we only allow our bodies five or fewer hours of sleep each night.  In this zone we are more at risk for diabetes, heart attack, and just generally at a greater risk of death.
          Part of this higher risk of death may be because this sleep deficit really affects our brain and its ability to function properly.  You can experience anything from difficulty thinking logically, a harder time learning new tasks, vision and speech problems, and decreased ability to think creatively (although most people would not notice any difference if my imagination were impaired). 
          I think one of the scariest things that results from being sleep deprived is your impaired driving ability.  I remember once driving from my house in Sierra Madre back to college at UCSD when I was running on about four hours sleep over a two-day period.  My eyes kept closing.  I tried opening the car window, turning the air conditioning on high, and at one point I even tried holding an eye open with one hand while I steered with the other (and, yes, I realize it makes it appear I was not smart enough to attend UCSD with this kind of problem solving ability). I finally had to pull into a rest step because luckily I had enough brain activity left to realize I was going to hurt someone if I kept going.  Because of this experience, I can totally understand how drowsiness can be nearly as dangerous as drunk driving.
          Another affect that sleep deprivation can have is that it impairs our ability to make good food choices.  The more tired we are, the less likely our bodies are to sense that we are full.  In addition, it simulates our hunger response, which leads to cravings for food (like unhealthy carbohydrates) and may even cause you to store more fat. "Being sleep deprived means that you’re more likely to make poor choices about which foods you eat and how much of them you consume, especially in the hours after dinner when elevated cortisol has you 'tired but wired'" (from Sleep: An Undervalued Ergogenic Aid by Dallas Hartwig--this can be accessed from the above link).
            One important thing that our bodies do while we sleep is to repair themselves from the stress we put on them during the day.  If we are not getting enough sleep, we are not allowing our bodies the time they need to heal.  So when I spend more time exercising and less time sleeping, I am actually increasing the chances that I will get injured, thereby setting me behind in my training schedule (a true Catch-22). 
          So here is my quandary--there are only so many hours in a day, and for the next year I need to not only go to work each day at my full time job (and tutor the seven kids on my caseload), spend quality time with my husband and children, find time for my friends, and somehow get in at least two hours a day training on weekdays and even more on the weekends. It is going to be a delicate balancing act for sure. 
          Often my problem is not that I do not try to get sleep, I just have difficulty falling asleep in the first place--I can be a terrible insomniac when things get too hectic.  The good news is that there are some suggestions for how we can make the most of the hours we have allowed for sleep. 
          First, if you plan for eight or more hours of sleep, even if it takes you a while to wind down, hopefully you will still be able to get in that seven hour minimum of sleep.  If you plan for seven, it is likely you will consistently get less than that amount.  In addition, try to go to bed and wake up at a similar time each night.  This will train your body to set its natural Circadian Rhythm--I know this one works because of my experience of getting up early to train.  This summer I have often been getting up anywhere between 4:30 and 5:30am so I can meet my training buddies.  Now my body regularly wakes me up right before my alarm is about to go off.  On the negative side, when I had to take a few rest days because I strained some muscles by over training, my body still woke me up between 4:30 and 5:30am--no rest for the weary.
          Once you have set a consistent bedtime and wake up time, there are some things you can do in the hours before you hit the sack that will make it more likely that you will not toss and turn for hours before you fall asleep. You may want to take a nice warm bath to relax your body (I guess my mom knew what she doing when she made me take a bath every night, and I just thought she was a clean freak).  Turn off all electronics like your television and computer, dim the lights, and try doing calming activities like listening to soothing music or reading a book.  Finally, try to avoid caffeine, especially in the hours before your bedtime, as it will cause you to have difficulty falling asleep. It will also inhibit your production of melatonin and will lead you to feel sluggish in the morning.  About an hour before bed avoid simulating activities like exercise, as they will make it more difficult for you to calm your body enough to fall asleep (see tip above and consider a hot bath instead).
          So, now that I understand how important sleep is, understand the negative effects of not making it a priority, and even understand some things I can do to make it more likely that I can easily fall asleep at night, I need to make a plan for actually following through on this.  My thinking is that if I go to bed early, somewhere around 8:00, and get to sleep by 9:00, even if I get up at 4:30 or 5:00am to train, I will still get at least seven hours of sleep.  And if I get Eoin in bed early with me, he will be better prepare to tackle his first year in kindergarten.  I need to teach him early that sleep is key to a healthy lifestyle, because right now he sees it as a punishment.  So now that I am consistently taking my supplements and have a plan to make sleeping a priority, hopefully I will be able to train, stay healthy and injury free, and maybe even have some much needed "grouchy-free" time with my friends and family.  And friends, if you really want to spend some quality time with me, join me on my runs, bike rides, or even for a nice long swim--we can always use some support especially on our longer mileage days. 

If you want to read more about how sleep fits into the whole "healthy you" equation, click her and read this resource on the Whole9 website: The Whole9 Health Equation

Triathlon Training Update--I finally found my new bike (although it is on layaway until I can pay it off), and I even learned how to change a flat tire I got on my old bike.  I took a transition workshop at the shop where I purchased my bike--now I know what I need to do when I change from my swim to the bike and from the bike to my run.  I feel better prepared for my swim now that I can do 100m without feeling like my chest is going to explode from air deprivation, and I even swam 600m without stopping.  I will be doing a 500m ocean swim for my sprint triathlon on 8/4, so hopefully I will be able to complete the swim without drowning.  Tomorrow I will go on a long bike ride, however, since I do not have my new bike I will be training and doing my first triathlon on a heavy hybrid bike.  I guess it can only go up from here.

          As I was sitting in my chair relaxing in the sand last week, I was trying to remember just when I began to hate going to the beach.  I do know that I have not always felt this way.  In fact, as a child I could hardly wait for our beach trips, and while we didn't go very often, every trip was a special occasion.  Also, my favorite childhood vacation was a trip we took to Hawaii.  The funny thing is that the only thing I can remember about that trip is one white sandy beach and another beach that was covered with beautiful black stones.  I would think if my dislike had started at an early age I would not have so many fond childhood memories of our trips to the beach.

            In college, while I did not choose to go to the University of California at San Diego solely for life at the coast, I must admit that I actually scheduled my classes around beach time so I could enjoy the beautiful surroundings and maintain my golden brown tan--I had my priorities straight back then.  After spending my first year living on campus, for my sophomore year we actually lived five blocks from the water in Pacific Beach.  I don't remember much about school, but I do remember spending many of the daylight hours sprawled on my towel in the sand sporting my black strapless bikini (see picture to the left).
          As I have shared in previous blogs, I was still in the throes of bulimia during my college years and it wasn't until the birth of my first child more than twenty years ago that I finally decided that I was slowly killing myself and that I needed help.  So the photo you see to the left is not necessarily a picture of a healthy me.
          The first time I remember dreading our trips to the beach was around the time I had my bulimia under control, had thrown out my scale to keep myself from being controlled by it again , and I was heavier than I had ever been.  I know this is scary, but in the picture to the left I actually thought I was fat, so when I actually put on some truly unhealthy pounds, I was completely uncomfortable in my skin--literally.  I have not owned a bikini since college, and I went to great lengths to keep my body covered up at all times, even when I was in the hot sun at the beach.  I would park myself on my beach chair, keep my shorts and shirt on over my swimsuit, and not move until it was time to head home.  Over the years, I told myself that I hated the beach because of the sand, but in truth it had nothing to do with the sand and everything to do with the fact that I hated the way I looked.  If I could avoid the beach, I could avoid wearing a swimsuit in public.
          When you weigh over two hundred pounds, it is difficult to find a suit that fits you, and often times when you do find one it is made of some hideous fabric that practically screams out that it was purchased in the plus-sized section.  And even if by some miracle you are able to find a cute suit it can rarely hide the stomach rolls or the cottage cheese thighs, which is why even in 90 degree weather there I would sit completely covered up and never venturing anywhere near the water.  In a previous blog I described how I avoided being in any family photos and in the process left very few permanent memories for my children of me.  As I was sitting on the beach last week I realized I had done the same for my kids memories of the beach.  While my husband would play paddleball with the kids, go body surfing and boogie boarding, creating fond memories for my children, what they will remember of me is mom sitting on a beach chair reading a book all by herself.
          So while I still have those parts of my body that could be firmer, I need to realize that no one is staring at me.  Why is it that I feel that everyone is so hyper-focused on me and my perceived flaws?  In reality, most people are too busy worrying about themselves to spend more than a few seconds looking at anyone else.  This is exactly the realization I came to on Monday, so I got up wearing just my swimsuit, walked out to the water, and took my very first ocean swim in years.  It felt great and made me realize how silly I had been for so many years.
          It is not too late for me to add some beach memories for my children, and while I am at it I will take a few photos that include me so they can remember that mom did more than sit on her beach chair and look at the surface of the ocean--she had a great time enjoying everything a day at the beach can offer.

“There's nothing wrong with enjoying looking at the surface of the ocean itself, except that when you finally see what goes on underwater,you realize that you've been missing the whole point of the ocean. Staying on the surface all the time is like going to the circus and staring at the outside of the tent.” ― Dave Barry

          I knew when I started on this journey that there would be times when I would feel frustrated, when I would not meet my expectations and the goals I set for myself, and that there would also be times when things would just plain be out of my control. This is part of life, and it is certainly a huge part of making lifestyle changes. This week I had two experiences that reminded me of this fact of life.
         As part of my preparation for training and participating in an Ironman- length triathlon, I decided that it would be a good idea to have my physician do a full physical on me to make sure that my body was really up to all the stress and pressure I would be putting on it for the next year or so.  While most of the assessments he did pointed to the fact that there was nothing physical that would hold me back, I did receive one surprising and humbling result--my blood showed a total cholesterol level of 239 and an LDL level of 134.  Both levels are more than 30 points higher than what they should be. In fact, the report from my doctor specifically states that I should "focus on a healthy diet and exercise."  I had to laugh because I know I am not perfect with my diet, but I do know that I eat healthier than many people I know.  In addition, there are not enough hours in the day for me to add more exercise.  As it is, I run three days a week and do Crossfit three days a week, which really only leaves me one day of rest.
          Now, when I say I was surprised by my results, I need to add that this is not entirely true.  At a very young age I actually knew what cholesterol was and the importance of keeping this under control.  My mother, despite the fact that she made her own whole grain bread, ate a completely vegetarian diet, and rarely consumed junk or fast food, had high cholesterol levels.  My maternal grandfather, on the other hand, had a total cholesterol level of 185, which seemed strange to me since he had bacon and butter with almost every meal.  He basically ate anything that he desired, and he was always fairly overweight.  I guess I was just hoping that I would win the genetic lottery and take after my grandpa instead of my mother.
          So while genetic high cholesterol may seem to be out of my control, there are still some things I can do to try to lower my bad cholesterol levels and increase the good ones as well.  As part of my doctor's recommendations, he not only mentioned diet and exercise, he also suggested I take in more Omega-3 fish oils.  It is funny that he would mention this because lately I have been thinking that the one thing I am really missing as part of my routine is taking some kind of supplement.  I do not take in any vitamins and minerals unless they come from the foods I eat, and I must admit, my diet has been sorely lacking in any kind of meals that include fish.  Hopefully, this one will be an easy fix if I regularly take a multivitamin, include some Omeg-3 fish oil capsules, and eat fish like salmon at least one time per week.
          The other humbling experience I had this week actually did have to do with my exercise routine.  One thing about doing a triathlon is that you must train in all three sports: biking, running, and swimming.  Now up to this point I have only been running and biking, so Thursday was actually the first swimming I have done in almost five years.  I must admit, I was not concerned about my swimming because I was actually a member of my high school swim team, and I had been including swimming in my exercise routine until the birth of my son Eoin, who will be five in September.  I am not sure what I was thinking--that my high school swimming would some how carry over to the present? That having done some swimming five years ago, my stamina for swimming would still be intact?  That my stamina for running and biking would make swimming easy for me? Whatever I was thinking, I was truly humbled when I actually got back into that pool.  My plan was to do a benchmark swim of 400m to have a baseline of my swimming ability.  The truth is that I could hardly swim 50m without having to stop, and by the end of the hour I had to take a break every time I reached the end of the pool because I could hardly catch my breath.  Needless to say, I couldn't swim enough laps in a row to even get a baseline on myself.  My new goal is to be able to swim the 400m without having to take a break.  Once I can do that, I can then worry about improving my swimming time.
          I will say that the one good thing about these two experiences is that I was able to approach each one without completely melting down like last week.  I am seeing both of these as opportunities for improvement.  My swimming can't get much worse than what I displayed on Thursday, so the only way I can go is up from this point on.  Also, if I really admit it,  I actually had an inkling that I needed to include more supplements into my diet (I actually have fish oil pills and multivitamins in my medicine cabinet).  It has really been true laziness on my part...I just need to take the time each day to remember to take them.
          One new development on my triathlon training schedule, we will be doing our first triathlon, a sprint triathlon, on August 4th.  And while this triathlon only entails me swimming 400m, biking 12 miles, and running a 5K (3.1 miles), I think this week has taught me that I cannot underestimate the training I will need to do to prepare for this event.  I hope I have learned that no matter how fit and healthy I get, there is always room for improvement--this soon to be flabulous girl is still under construction.  :)

            The road to success is always under construction.     James C Miller, US economist, politician

          I don't know if any of you ever feel this way, but occasionally I just completely lose it.  I lose focus, I lose willpower, and I absolutely lose my confidence.  I am not entirely sure what brings these times of panic on, but this week I just lost it.  All of a sudden, even after last week's blog, I began to doubt whether or not I was truly made of the stuff that would be able to actually train and complete an Ironman.
          This got me thinking about how often my frame of mind can either support me, or in the case of this week, make me completely doubt myself.  It's really all in my mind.  But how can I push my mind in the right direction?  How can I make sure that my mind and body are working together to help me be the best me?
         To begin with, I think I need to look at how I can go from having confidence one week and being full of self-doubt the next.  I believe a variety of factors came to play.
          First, I can be a bit of a perfectionist--I guess this is probably no surprise to those I work with (no revealing my obsessive editing of presentations Tammy and Sue).  I also think this need to be perfect is what drove me to eating disorders in my teenage years and beyond.  Another "wonderful" quality I have is that I am extremely competitive.  My husband likes to say that when we play games with friends I can't be on his team, and I also can't be on the other team--either way I end up yelling at him for something.  It is this combination of perfectionism and competitive nature that I feel was a huge factor in my melt down this week. 
          Also, to give you a little more background, most of the people I run with are faster than me--this is just a fact.  But the cool thing is, they slow down a little for me and I push myself a little to make running with me worth their effort to get up so early for our pre-dawn runs.  Lately, however, I have been feeling like I have been holding them back. The more I pushed myself, the more it seemed I could not keep up.  I felt like I was needing walk breaks even on short runs, that I was losing energy, and I just generally felt sluggish. It is not that I am competitive with my running friends--I am competitive with myself.  I hate when I feel I am not running up to my potential, and I really felt like something was holding me back.
          Thank goodness I keep a log of all my runs including the distance and my minute/mile times.  As I looked back over the last two and one-half years, my times have continued to improve.  In addition, my best mile time ever was just under 27:00...but on a completely flat route.  Most of the running I do now either includes hills or contains a lot of off-road terrain.  So actually it was all in my mind--I completely lost my confidence over something that was not even based in reality.
          And the bad thing about letting my mind think negative thoughts is that it often spirals into other negative thinking.  If I'm feeling bad about myself, it is harder for me to get up early in the morning to exercise, I eat bad food obsessively, and I just stress over what I need to do to make improvements.  Should I eat more carbs?  Should I get more hours of sleep?  Should I take more rest days in between exercise days? Should I include more speed work? And the problem is that that this thinking just goes on and on.  My mind sends me spiraling in the wrong direction.
          Now that I have revealed how crazy my mind makes me sometimes, I hope you will see how this kind of thinking is not productive and is very often not based in fact.  But how can I get my mind to work with me instead of against me?  What worked for me this time was talking it out with a friend--she allowed me to vent and then reminded me not only of the amount of training time I still had, but that I would have her to support me.  As I have stated many times in previous blogs, if you surround yourself with amazing friends they will help you to realize your true potential.  Also, keep a log of your progress.  Because I was able to go back and look specifically at my training runs, I could instantly see that my mind was playing tricks on me once again.  With the resource of my friend Karrie and the meticulous logging of my exercise, what could have been a long downward spiral was a two-day blimp on my more than year-long journey to Ironman.

Believe in your dreams and they may come true. Believe in yourself and they will.---Unknown